The Sign of Jonah

A long time ago, in old Israel dwelling
There lived a man Jonah, whose story I’m telling.
Now Jonah was special, what they call a prophet,
Who spoke with the Lord, not a person to scoff at.
And one day the Lord sent old Jonah a vision,
And said, “Listen up, Joe, you’ve got a new mission.”
And Jonah said “Sure, say the word and I’ll go!
I’ll travel the world to wherever You show.
The valleys of Egypt, the mountains of Spain,
The beaches of Cyprus, Arabia’s plains,
Through whirlwinds or earthquakes, through rain, sleet or snow,
With You, there’s no place where this prophet won’t go!”

Then God said, “That’s great! Pack your bags for Assyria.”
Jonah paused, took a breath, then he cried “Are You serious?
Assyria’s evil, the whole empire’s rotten!
They want to destroy us, or have you forgotten?
It’s wicked and nasty, and probably smells;
If they need a prophet, then pick someone else.”
God said “Go to Nineveh, their capital city.
I know of their evil, you’re not bringing pity.
I plan to destroy them, but they need to know,
And it’s for that reason I want you to go.
This isn’t some favor I’ve asked you to do.
I’m telling you Jonah. It has to be you.”

Now Nineveh was east, so old Jonah went west
He sailed straight for Tarshish, abandoned God’s quest.
And while on the boat, as the prophet slept sound,
A great storm arose, tossed the ship all around.
The sailors were frightened, they feared they would die,
They cried to their gods but received no reply.
When all hope seemed lost, they woke Jonah from sleep,
And said, “Pray to your god to save us from the deep!”
But Jonah knew then what it was he had done.
He said to them all “I’m a man on the run.
This storm and this danger are all ‘cause of me;
If you want to be saved, throw me into the sea.”

They begged God’s forgiveness, then raised Jonah high,
Tossed him in the ocean, then sailed safely by.
The storm had abated, the sea calm and clear,
And Jonah thought “Now where do I go from here?”
And as he bemoaned that he’d never reach Tarshish,
He was swallowed up whole by an extremely large fish.
He stayed in that fish for three days and three nights,
And thought to himself that, perhaps, God was right.
The fish reached the surface, and, at God’s command,
He puked Jonah out into seafoam and sand.
He stank like ceviche all down to his skin,
And God said to Jonah “Let’s try this again.”

So Jonah reached Nineveh, tired and sore
From his traumatic fish story down by the shore.
He walked through the city for only a day,
Then figured he’d stop and not go all the way.
And this one thing he said on his holy endeavor:
“Ya got forty days, then you’re doomed--see ya never!”
His hatred for Nineveh never relented,
But still, at his message, the people repented.
He put in no effort; they fasted and prayed;
He offered no comfort; they offered God praise.
From the king to the cows, everyone begged God’s pity,
Then God saw it and said, “I will spare the whole city.”

Now Jonah was furious, he fumed and he raged,
“I knew this would happen, I knew they would change!
I knew You were gracious, and that’s why I fled.
You said You’d destroy them, You love them instead!”
Then God said to Jonah, “I bring back the lost.
I measure the price and I cover the cost.
I loved you enough to save you from yourself;
Now you get upset when I save someone else?
A heart full of hate is not how you should live.
I know all their sins and I choose to forgive.
I’m redeeming their lives, and redeeming yours, too.
I’m telling you, Jonah. It had to be you.”