Honor Your Father and Mother | Lessons from the Last 15
The first commandment with a promise is not just for the domestic home but also the divine home. Both homes are meant to have fathers and mothers. It is one of the more compelling aspects of the church that all ministry is children’s ministry. No matter what age, disciples take the place of a child. Old John often refers to his congregants and listeners as “little children.” Jesus said to Old Nicodemus, “you must be born again“ (John 3.3,7). And to his adult ministry disciples, “you must become as little children” (Matthew 18.3). Apollos became like a child and had a church mother and father explain the way of Jesus more plainly (Acts 18.18-28). Paul told the Corinthians, “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4.15).
Children are called to honor their fathers and mothers (10 Commandments). Christians are exhorted, “And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you” (1 Thessalonians 5.12 the Message).
Honoring those ahead of me has been an ingredient in ministry longevity. That is the promise part of this commandment. “...That your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20.12 and Ephesians 6.3). Every pastor before me was human. They had gifts and quirks. Assets and deficits. They were simul justus et peccator—sinner/saints. In my case, it was easy to honor them. Their value and fidelity as pastors was easily recognizable. They built with good materials, and I benefited greatly from a well-loved and well-taught and well-pastored congregation. I didn’t need to have a regime change—I wasn’t the new sheriff in town. I honored them and they blessed me.
“It is one of the more compelling aspects of the church that all ministry is children’s ministry. No matter what age, disciples take the place of a child. ”
Some churches have good ole days that are more squinty eye nostalgia than reality. Trinity actually did have good ole days. Days marked by creativity and growth. Many young leaders were identified and equipped and sent out to bless the broader church. People were touched by a move of the Spirit of God, and it is impossible to know where the ripple effect ended. It is still going.
I remember the first time Pastor Paul, one of my predecessors, returned. I publicly thanked him for some specific generous gifts he left behind at Trinity. I gave him room to speak. What did he say? “These are good days for Trinity. I talked with Pastor Christenson (another predecessor) and we agree that the best days for Trinity are ahead.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I was expecting heroic stories, but Pastor Paul helped the congregation look forward.
“Sometimes it is hard to honor our fathers and mothers, but there is no life apart from them. Mothers and fathers give life.”
What if your predecessor is a loser? Treat their sin like you would like yours to be treated. An influential city-center church had a popular pastor who made some very sinful choices. He was rightfully removed and disciplined. The next pastor brought the situation up at the next congregational meeting. I was ready for “regime change” talk and a “throw the sinner under the bus” attitude. The new pastor didn’t excuse the sin or deny the damage it caused. In fact, he quietly named it. He also mentioned how sin is complicated and intertwined and that communities often make the found-out sinner the scapegoat for some sins in which the community is complicit. Then he said that there were also gifts his fallen predecessor brought and those must be honored and not rejected.
It is hard to imagine that this is even possible in cancel culture. But, maybe imagination is exactly what is needed. Sometimes it is hard to honor our fathers and mothers, but there is no life apart from them. Mothers and fathers give life. Honor your father and mother. There are many mothers and fathers to honor at Trinity, but I’d like to honor those Senior Pastors who preceded me. I honor Pastor Edwards the Pioneer and Doctor Andrews the Poet and Pastor Hoffman the Evangelist and Pastor Christenson the Teacher and Pastor Paul the Prophet and Pastor Peterson the Caring and Pastor Sy the Creative.
Lessons from the Last 15 is a series of articles from Pastor Nathan Hoff on the occasion of his 15th year in ministry at Trinity San Pedro.
“It seems like they need me,” I said pretentiously to a dear family I was visiting in the first congregation I served. Just shy of three years at that Call, I broke the news about our upcoming relocation to Southern California. It was the Fall of 2005, and I had recently received and accepted a new Call to Trinity Lutheran in San Pedro, California. How that family managed not to roll their eyes is more impressive as the years go by. I had a lot to learn.
October 31st will mark the 15th anniversary of my installation as pastor at Trinity San Pedro. They didn’t “need” me in the way I thought they might need me. They did need the Gospel, and I needed it too—as desperately as anyone else. I still do and they still do. We are a good match.