I will, and I ask God to help me | Lessons from the Last 15
“Do you think we are going to make it?” Every vocation asks this eventually. When husband and wife see beyond the fig leaves that covered all the shame during courtship and early marriage, one asks “Are we going to make it?” When friendship hits that make-or-break moment, one asks, “Is this friendship worth it?” Some vocations, like marriage, are meant to be “until death parts us.” Other vocations have an expiration date. Quarterback Jared Goff’s contract runs through 2024. Then Goff or the Lions will say, “Is this worth it?”
There is no vocation without a voca, a voice that calls. Voice shares an etymological root with vocation. The core vocation of every human comes from the voca of God who calls his own “beloved.” Some haven’t heard this voca yet, which is the mission of the church to proclaim it. Peter writes that God has used his voice and, “called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy” (1 Peter 2.9-10). Hearing this particular and personal voca changes everything.
The vocation of the president of the United States requires the voice of a majority of electors. The vocation of pastor requires the appointment by the voice of a bishop or the majority voice of a session or congregation. The vocation of husband or wife requires a vote by only one person. Each vocation involves a voice that issues a call. “I take you to be my wife.” “You are the duly elected, President of the United States.” “We call you to be our Pastor.”
My experience is that the pastoral vocation, before culminating in an objective call from a congregation, originates with many whispers (vocas). “You did a great job giving that devotional message. You would be a good pastor.” “People really feel loved by God when you visit them. Have you ever considered a vocation in the church?” “Your job assessment came back. It says you might want to consider ministry.” After those voca whispers are confirmed by a local community and your own pastor, then some synodical committees approve and the seminary confers the degree you earned, what comes next?
“The core vocation of every human comes from the voca of God who calls his own ‘beloved.’”
Discernment comes next. A congregation discerns the suitability and Spirit-led fit of this candidate or that candidate. Who is God leading us to call to be our next pastor? A pastoral candidate discerns the same. Who and where is God calling me to serve? Trinity issued me a call to be their pastor in the Summer of 2005. I talked with about twelve family, friends, colleagues, and ecclesial supervisors because I wanted to hear their voice on the issue. I talked to people who knew this unique congregation and who knew me. Would we fit? Trinity had been through some upheaval and I had and have some gifts and strengths and certain vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Did we belong together?
The vote from Trinity wasn’t unanimous, but they spoke with a mostly common voca, “We call you to be our pastor.” The wise voices I sought were also not unanimous, but they shared broad agreement. A humble “yes” was also rising in my own heart. This Trinity call originated in the heart of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I would have had more confidence if Trinity was unanimous and if my advisors were unanimous. Instead of confidence, I had to trust God. I still have to trust God.
My vocation at Trinity has weathered internal and external challenges. My own sin and insecurities have been the greatest challenge. Others have also sinned, but that is not mine to confess. The accuser also has a severe and all too clear voca (Revelation 12.10). A person from outside of the congregation once told me brazenly, “I’m surprised that church called you! You don’t seem to have any of the attributes they were looking for.” It felt like a verbal taser. That voca remained in my ear until I thought of the response I failed to verbalize at that moment. “You know what, lady? Satan agrees with you because he has been telling me the same thing.” It is a good thing I can’t formulate my thoughts more quickly.
“The same Voice that called you, will sustain you. ”
What sustains when the vocation is under attack from inside or out? The same Voice that called you, will sustain you. The same Voice that said, “You are my beloved Son” sustained Jesus when he steeled himself with the word that he would not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. Abba’s voice sustained his Son in the wilderness. Jesus would hear the same voice on the mount of transfiguration which would call and sustain him in his excruciating vocation that led from garden of surrender to cross of salvation.
We are not promised that the road we are called to walk will be easy. But, we don’t walk without promise. “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11.28-30). Look, there is one who is yoked together with you. You can’t do it alone. You can’t say it alone. Your, “I will” has to be followed by a, “and I ask God to help me.” You can join your voca to Jesus’ voca as he says, “Not my will but your will be done. Into your hands I commend my spirit. Father forgive them, they know not what they do.”
Before almighty God, to whom you must give account, and in the presence of this congregation, I ask: Will you assume this office, believing that the Church's call is God's call to the ministry of Word and Sacrament?
I will, and I ask God to help me.
Will you therefore preach and teach in accordance with the Holy Scriptures and our creeds and confessions?
I will, and I ask God to help me.
Will you be diligent in your study of the Holy Scriptures and in your use of the means of grace? Will you pray for God's people, nourish them with the Word and Holy Sacraments, and lead them by your own example in faithful service and holy living?
I will, and I ask God to help me.
Will you give faithful witness in the world, that God's love may be known in all that you do?
I will, and I ask God to help me.
Almighty God, who has given you the will to do these things, graciously give you the strength and compassion to perform them.
Amen.
Lessons from the Last 15 is a series of articles from Pastor Nathan Hoff on the occasion of his 15th year in ministry at Trinity San Pedro.
“It seems like they need me,” I said pretentiously to a dear family I was visiting in the first congregation I served. Just shy of three years at that Call, I broke the news about our upcoming relocation to Southern California. It was the Fall of 2005, and I had recently received and accepted a new Call to Trinity Lutheran in San Pedro, California. How that family managed not to roll their eyes is more impressive as the years go by. I had a lot to learn.
October 31st marked the 15th anniversary of my installation as pastor at Trinity San Pedro. They didn’t “need” me in the way I thought they might need me. They did need the Gospel, and I needed it too—as desperately as anyone else. I still do and they still do. We are a good match.